The Gist
Aliens-cyborgs have gone back in time and captured two things: humans and dinosaurs. The humans are their slaves, the dinos are their trackers (sort of like bloodhounds). When one of the humans escapes to Earth (which the slaves think of as ‘heaven’), the dinos and one of the cyborgs follow him to recapture him. So he flees and meets a prostitute-turned-nun-in-training named Ann, who eventually vows to help him fight off the dinos and cyborgs and keep him on Earth.
What We Think
Reviewed by Living Destiny
This is the best Mystery Science Theater I’ve ever seen. Hands down. The movie itself is absolutely terrible. I don’t even understand it. The plot is weak, the acting is pretty terrible, and the special effects are especially horrible. There’s one scene where you can literally see the wire holding up the prop. It’s pathetic. The jokes the MST 3000 crew make totally make up for the lack of any decent entertainment material in the actual movie. I laughed so hard! This is another Mike episode, and Mike outclasses Joel all the way (in my opinion), so I already had high hopes. I was not disappointed. Tom and Crow were very witty the whole time, Mike was great as always, and the skits were very good too. My favorite skit was actually one that came at the end of the movie, in the theater (where there are never skits). There were so many amazing comments that I still go around quoting. And there was even a reference to another MST 3000 episode (Werewolf, anybody?)! So awesome! That was pretty much my favorite part. There were a couple…lets say overweight…people in this movie, and the cast jumped all over that. You couldn’t go five minutes without there being another fat joke pulled by someone. It sounds insulting, but when you hear them, you can’t not laugh. The actual movie was a total failure, but the MST 3000 was the best one. Ever. If you’re new to MST 3000, start with this one, and you won’t be disappointed.
Real Teen Rating~ The actual movie: D-: I wouldn’t bother at all.
Mystery Science Theater: A+: DEFINITELY WATCH THIS MOVIE!!!!!
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