The Gist
Hanna Heller has been training all her life for one thing. To be the perfect assassin. Living with her father in the wilds of Finland since she was very young, Hanna has been honing her skills as a killer for sixteen years, and is ready for her mission. Pressing a button on the tracking device her father has had with him since he escaped the CIA, Hanna jumps into the world of military intelligence to track down Marissa Viegler, a CIA member who handled her father's work. As she travels across Europe trying to kill Marissa and find her father again, Hanna discovers things she never wanted to know.
What We Think
Reviewed by Living Destiny
Run Time: 111 Minutes
Rating: PG-13
When Dream, North and I went to the movies a while ago, we couldn't decide exactly what we wanted to see. We were caught between seeing Beastly, Hanna, and Limitless. After trying desperately to leave the decision to fate, the iPod-shuffle-method of invoking fate told us that we should see Hanna. It turns out fate was playing a cruel joke on us, and we should have watched one of the other two movies instead.
I literally don't even know where to begin. I've been sitting here staring at the screen of my laptop for twenty minutes without typing anything. Hum. Putting it off like a boss. Ok. So the beginning of the movie was kind of like a short film. It was all artsy, with her running and hunting and taking out a deer. Then it said the title really big. And right there, it could have ended and been a pretty decent short film. But noooo it had to be feature length. And that is where the trouble began.
This should have been a short film. There were whole scenes that could have been cut out. For example, there's one scene where it's literally just Marissa brushing her teeth until her gums bleed. Like the audience wants to see bleeding gums. Gross. There was so much material that didn't add anything to the story, and just served to make the movie longer. If you could call it a movie. I don't even know what genre I would classify it in. It was like it tried to combine a ton of different genres in one. An action-adventure, thriller, comedy, romance, feel-good, finding-yourself movie with some intrigue thrown in for color. Try mixing all of your favorite foods together and then eating that concoction. Sound appealing? That's this movie. If I wanted seven different genres, I'd look for seven different movies. Seven good movies, not movies like this. I was either confused or bored the whole time.
The characters were so...blech. Hanna, the main character, was just irritating. I know she was raised to be lethal, and without any technology, and blah blah blah. But I didn't care. Shouldn't you care about the main character? I think so. She was so cold and unfeeling. Generally if you're going for an apathetic character, they have some sort of weak spot that comes out in the movie. An unintentional spot of love or hope or compassion. Something. Not with this movie. Hanna was a stone-cold killer, and while that was what she was supposed to be, it made her unlikable. Her dad wasn't much better. He tried to be passionate and all hung-ho good guy, but he came off as a little obsessive and crazy. Marissa was just...Marissa. She was the bad guy. She did bad things. But not in a way that made her an awesome bad guy. Meh. Then there was this family. They were minor characters that only had two real purposes, but were stretched to try and be meaningful (which didn't work). Ick.
It was so not enjoyable. I liked nothing about it at all. Well, that's not necessarily true. I did like the first few shots before it showed the title. After that, I liked nothing about it at all. The plot took way too many unnecessary twists, the characters were bland, and I was so bored. When you start hoping all the characters kill each other off at the same time, so the movie can be over with, you know it's not a good one.
Real Teen Rating ~ D+ : It passes time...barely...
This should have been a short film. There were whole scenes that could have been cut out. For example, there's one scene where it's literally just Marissa brushing her teeth until her gums bleed. Like the audience wants to see bleeding gums. Gross. There was so much material that didn't add anything to the story, and just served to make the movie longer. If you could call it a movie. I don't even know what genre I would classify it in. It was like it tried to combine a ton of different genres in one. An action-adventure, thriller, comedy, romance, feel-good, finding-yourself movie with some intrigue thrown in for color. Try mixing all of your favorite foods together and then eating that concoction. Sound appealing? That's this movie. If I wanted seven different genres, I'd look for seven different movies. Seven good movies, not movies like this. I was either confused or bored the whole time.
The characters were so...blech. Hanna, the main character, was just irritating. I know she was raised to be lethal, and without any technology, and blah blah blah. But I didn't care. Shouldn't you care about the main character? I think so. She was so cold and unfeeling. Generally if you're going for an apathetic character, they have some sort of weak spot that comes out in the movie. An unintentional spot of love or hope or compassion. Something. Not with this movie. Hanna was a stone-cold killer, and while that was what she was supposed to be, it made her unlikable. Her dad wasn't much better. He tried to be passionate and all hung-ho good guy, but he came off as a little obsessive and crazy. Marissa was just...Marissa. She was the bad guy. She did bad things. But not in a way that made her an awesome bad guy. Meh. Then there was this family. They were minor characters that only had two real purposes, but were stretched to try and be meaningful (which didn't work). Ick.
It was so not enjoyable. I liked nothing about it at all. Well, that's not necessarily true. I did like the first few shots before it showed the title. After that, I liked nothing about it at all. The plot took way too many unnecessary twists, the characters were bland, and I was so bored. When you start hoping all the characters kill each other off at the same time, so the movie can be over with, you know it's not a good one.
Real Teen Rating ~ D+ : It passes time...barely...
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