The Green Hornet - Seth Rogen, Jay Chou, and Cameron Diaz

The Gist

The Green Hornet
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Ever since Britt Reid was a kid he has HATED his father.  When he was in elementary school he tried to defend a girl from some bullies and he stood up for her and when he got sent to his dad he didn’t listen to his side of the story and told him “Trying is useless if you always fail”.  When he grows older he tries in every way to defy his father…that is until he dies.  Now Britt has to take over his dad’s multi-million dollar newspaper company with absolutely no experience at the company what-so-ever, and he is not happy about it.  The day after his fathers funeral he wakes up to realize his daily, amazing coffee is not next to him.  He demands to know why his coffee is not up to par and the maid tells him that he fired the guy who made his coffee.  He instantly demands that this man comes to the house at that very second.  When he comes he introduces himself as Kato and Britt quickly learns that Kato made more than just the coffee.  He made his father’s cars indestructible, have weapons in every nook and cranny and all around AWESOME!  After Kato explains what he does for Britt’s dads cars he then goes to explain that he was a jerk who never appreciated his work.  Britt quickly agrees and they find themselves soon at the graveyard cutting off the head of Britt’s dads statue in a fit of rage.  On the way back to the car Britt notices that a couple is being harassed by some thieves.  After springing into action, getting away and saving the day the cops arrive and think they were the “bad guys”.  Taking this angle as a good thing and using his dad’s news paper to publicize themselves Britt Reid becomes The Green Hornet.


What We Think

Reviewed by The North Star

Run Time: 119 Minutes
Rating: PG-13

Every time I saw the commercial for this movie it looked silly, stupid and just a plain bad super hero movie.  So when I went to go see it I was expecting a D.  Well, what I got was a silly, stupid, funny good super hero movie.  In my mind super hero movies are not good off from the bat because for some reason I have never found the subject of superheros an interesting one.  I probably liked this movie because it wasn’t technically a true superhero movie.  There was no super powers, no “true” damsel’s in distress, no being bitten by bugs or raised by wolves, and no tights.  There was crime-fighting, justice, kick-butt costumes and awesome gadgets.  So it had some aspects of an ordinary super-hero movie but a lot missing.  Aside from the hero/non-hero aspects of the movie it was really funny.  I have never seen a Seth Rogen movie before (partly because they are a little to old) but now I want to see another one of his movies.  He played the perfect pompous idiot who wanted nothing but revenge on his father, all the fame and fortune and of course the girl.  Most of the movie he was extremely sarcastic but in a good way!  I was laughing my butt off almost the entire.  Seth and Jay (who played Kato) made a great team.  Which brings me to the next point of Kato.  He was so sweet, cute and lovable in this movie.  My friend who I went started with a chorus of “Poor Kato’s” every time something bad would happen to him.  He was also the heart of the team.  He is the one who beats up all the bad guys but to the public he is just known as “The Sidekick”.  I wished he had gotten a name like the Green Hornet but maybe in the original or in the comic’s he did but in this movie he just remained “The Sidekick”.  The most lovable thing about Kato was that he had a huge crush on Seth Rogen’s receptionist Lenore( Cameron Diaz). Ahhh…the actress that is Cameron Diaz.  In my opinion she is an actress who gets a bunch of parts but never truly lives up to her expectations.  Lenore was her perfect part.  She was awesome at acting that part and I think that is the realm she should stay in because it is what she is really good at.

Enough of characters now onto the movie itself.  The reason this movie is getting a B is because despite the awesome acting and jokes it dragged.  The same thing kind of happened over and over again.  They would go fight someone, get heard in the newspaper, fight more bad guys, get heard in the newspaper and the regular news, and so on and so forth.  The plot also wasn’t very original I mean you can only go so far with people fighting villains and defeating them every time.  Which is another reason I am not crazy about Super Hero movies.  The movie also could have gotten rid of a few scenes because they were really unneeded but other than that I really enjoyed this movie and would recommend it to almost everyone looking for a silly/goofy movie to go to.  Warning though for parents: There were some kids in the theater when I went to go see it and this movie does use the word Sugar Honey Ice Tea (Don’t know how else to say it) a lot so if you don’t approve of that do not take your kids to see it.  Other than that it is not a waste of money and if you don’t see it in theaters then definitely rent it when it comes on DVD.

Real Teen Rating~ B: Rent it to save for a rainy day

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Because I Am Furniture – Thalia Chaltas

The Gist

Because I Am Furniture
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Anke’s father is abusive. But not to her. Never to her. When his temper flares it’s always her older brother, Darren who takes the hits.  And at night, it’s always her older sister, Yaicha. Waiting in her room for the inevitable – every night before he goes into his own bedroom he goes into hers. But never Anke’s. Because she is furniture to him. Not a daughter, not even worthy of his abuse. But when she makes the school volleyball team, she realizes that she may be stronger than anyone realizes. Through volleyball she find the voice that she never knew she had. The voice she needs to stand up for her family and for what’s right.

What We Think
Reviewed by Dream Catcher
Number of Pages: 352
This book was on a book list that the North Star made for me. She filled it with books that’s she’d only heard of (never read) and so I was to read this. Not even knowing what it was about. Not that it really mattered (I created a list for her that was equally if not more devious). It was a quick read.  It’s written all in free verse poetry that sounds so unpoetic that it almost wasn’t free verse. I mean, it obviously was poetry. But the way she wrote it almost made it seem like she was too lazy to actually write an entire book, so she just cut out almost all the dialogue and shortened every plot point into a few lines. Viola: free verse poetry. And I’m not just saying it because I don’t like free verse poetry or something. Because I actually do like that kind of poetry, just not when it’s written like that. I think that’s fair. It was very mediocre.
Speaking of mediocre. The characters were so bland. Not personable or likeable. Not even mean or annoying. Just bland. Anke was supposed to be this inner strength guru who can fight the emotional battles inside herself and come away strong, confident, and ready to fight. Sure, she kinda, a little, described this in her poetry. But to me it sounded really fake. Like someone who never had to struggle writing a story about a character who constantly struggles. Just didn’t sound real. Anke’s family was even worse. I mean, the father was supposed to be horrible. So I guess she hit the nail on the head there. He was disgusting. The mother was just as disgusting though. Anke described her as this great mother who she loved and trusted and all that. But her actions disproved everything that Anke said. She just sat and watched all of her children being abused by their father and did absolutely NOTHING about it. If I had three kids and they were being abused I’m pretty sure I’d do everything possible to make it so they weren’t abused anymore. Right? I just couldn’t stand her character because of that. She was so wide-eyed and he-didn’t-mean-it all the time. Ugh. Anke’s brother, Darren, wasn’t that bad actually. He seemed like a pretty normal, abused, older brother. Pretending nothing was wrong so his younger sister wouldn’t get upset and that kind of thing. Going to Anke’s volleyball practice. So he wasn’t that bad. But the sister, Yaicha, was terrible. She was mean and uncaring and not sensitive at all.  I just didn’t like her at all. Some could say I should cut her a little slack because she WAS being abused (which might have lead to her being really rude and mean) and I get that. I did give her a break. But that doesn’t mean I liked her character any more than I did. She annoyed me and didn’t seem like a good older sister or even an okay character. Anke’s best friend, Rona, was another character I had a problem with. Usually she was alright. Very typical don’t-care-about-what-people-think highschool girl. And, sure, that was fine. But there were times when she was REALLY mean. And Anke would reproach her for it. So, naturally, I suspected there would be more conflict here – where Anke confronts her about her mean comments or something. Nope. Something with that was extremely unsatisfying and disappointing. Then there was Angeline – a girl that Anke had to hang out with from time to time. Anke claimed Angeline was the most annoying person on Earth. But she wasn’t. She was clueless and obscenely naive and innocent. But not nearly as annoying as Anke made her out to be. So that kind of annoyed (I said ANNOYED/ANNOYING way too many times) me…though I’m not sure if that’s more of Anke’s fault or Angeline’s. Either way I was annoyed at some character or another. Which isn’t usually a good sign. Oh, well. Yeah…so characters…not particularly good…yeah mostly just average. 
The plot…wasn’t really a plot. At least I think. There was the idea of abuse and volleyball. But there was no real plot to it. Just a bunch of random events in poem form squashed together, trying to convince people that they make a complete story. And I guess you could say…if you’re being generous…that there is some tiny bit of plot or story or whatever. TINY bit of plot, if any. Mostly it was just an idea and a few emotions and weird events. Not really much of anything, in my opinion. Oh, and they separated the book into four parts. I didn’t really understand that. The sections weren’t clearly defined as anything of significance. I didn’t understand the difference between some the sections. It seemed random and senseless to me. Not method to the madness of that.
The first line was pretty good. “I am always there.” Good, right? Yeah, sure. But then if you read on, you will see something utterly unforgivable. In the NEXT line she states the entire title. UGH! I am in physical pain just thinking about it. Terrible. To state the book’s title at all – let alone in the second line – is unbearably cheesy. Ugh.  Here is the second line for you: “But they don’t care if I am/because I am furniture”.  NO! Right there my heart sank, and I had that terrible foreboding feeling of knowing a book isn’t going to be good. Bad choice of the first few lines, Thalia Chaltas. Not okay.
If anything, though, the last line is WORSE. Not possible? Oh, it is. It’s cheesy and unsatisfying. One of those endings that makes you go “WHAT IS THAT?”.  Well…that’s what I think if I don’t like the ending to the book. Anyway, the ending line was just bad. But the ending in its entirety was abrupt and not exactly complete. There were things that were never resolved in the story. It’s funny because for a book with hardly any plot, the author actually manages to not complete the LITTLE plot she managed to come up with. What a remarkable feat *insert eye-roll here*. Only one major thing was resolved but still…I don’t know. It felt wrong and unfinished.
Here’s the nice part of the review. Yay. The cover was pretty good. Eye-catching at the very least. Real-looking house in the background with a white cut-out silhouette of a girl as the main focal point. Cool. Good job there, Speak Publishing. And the title. Also interesting enough to catch the eye. Or, I guess, the ear if you hear the title. Because I am Furniture. Different, mysterious, maybe even a little dark. Good combo for title. So those were good.
I made the book sound horrendous, didn’t I? Honestly, it wasn’t that bad. Just a little below average. I would never go around and recommend it – I usually only do that with really good books.  It was a disappointment, no doubt about that. I’d been expecting something dark with a hopeful ending, made unique by the fact it was all in poetry. Not exactly the case. But it wasn’t HORRIBLE. Just not that great. I finished it really quickly – like two days – and didn’t hate it or love it. An easy read that’s not very memorable. Actually, not memorable AT ALL.


Real Teen Rating~ C- : Read it if you’re bored.

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Kurt Hugo Schneider

Reviewed by Living Destiny

I’m sure we’ve all heard of YouTube.  If you haven’t, well, climb out from under the rock you’ve been living in for the past ten years and look it up.  It’s one of the coolest websites out there, and is great when you want to hear a song, see something totally goofy, look up movie trailers, or even make yourself known.  People have been discovered and become famous through YouTube (think Justin Bieber), and there are a lot of YouTube sensations.  These sensations go absolutely viral, and can get thousands of views in the first day they post a new video.  One of these amazing YouTube artists is music producer/filmmaker/singer Kurt Hugo Schneider. 
Unlike a lot of YouTubers, Kurt isn’t the major performer in most of his videos.  He does some background vocals and percussion in a few videos, and has a few videos of him singing or playing piano (which are completely stunning – especially I’ll Follow You Into the Dark), but mostly he creates videos for others.  Like his latest video, for example.  Working with Alex Goot, an up-and-coming YouTube artist, he created a music video for Alex’s new song Pretty Eyes.  The video posted on January 22 and already has 1,174,843 views (last time I checked).  Obviously, Kurt has a huge following!  And he has an eye for talent.  His main singer (for lack of a better term) is named Sam Tsui.  He is amazing.  There really isn’t another word for it. He’s also really cute, although that’s a whole different story.   He does a lot of mash-up stuff with Kurt, and they remix lots of popular songs.  They also came out with an original song called I Don’t Want An Ending.  I just listened to it for the first a minute ago for this review, and it made me very glad I decided to do this review.  The song was good, the vocals were great, and the video was cool.  Great job there!  Kurt’s other performers, like Alex Goot or Christina Grimime, are just as good as Sam.  Every new video he makes gets me to smile just a little bit more.
Kurt is completely astounding.  From throwing a beat, to playing piano or guitar, to singing, to editing and producing, there doesn’t seem to be anything he can’t do.  Plus he’s adorably cute!  But the best thing about him?  Watching his videos, especially the ones he’s in, you can tell he loves what he does.  He has fun with it, no matter what, and it shows.  It’s inspiring to see someone being able to work with their passions.  Plus, the videos rock!
Real Teen Rating ~ CHECK HIM OUT!!!!!

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Harry’s Law – NBC

The Gist

Harriet “Harry” Korn is working at a typical patent law firm. But one day she just decided everything there was too boring and got herself fired. On her way home from the firm a suicidal man falls on her. He attempted suicide by jumping from a high window to land on the concrete below  – but instead of  dying he lands on Harry Korn, sending her to the emergency room. When the doctors tell Harry she can leave she heads home – again – and this time is hit by a car. And so she returns to the emergency room. This series of events bring four people together. Harriet and Jenna Backstrom - her assistant from her patent firm – start their own firm known as Harry’s Law and Fine Shoes. The man who hit Harry with his car, a lawyer named Adam Branch, finds out about Harry’s firm and comes to her, asking to work there, too. He insists it’s just until Harry gets on her feet again, so she allows him to stay and take a case. Then the man who fell on her, Malcolm Davies, comes to her and asks for her to take his case – so he won’t have to go to jail for illegal drug use; so he can stay in college. The four of them working together as one firm prove to make the perfect team as they battle egotistical lawyers and sell fine shoes.


What We Think

Reviewed by Dream Catcher

Number of Seasons: 0 (and 8 episode)

So far I’ve only seen the first eight episodes. But I intend to see more of the show. Now you may have heard some people or reviewers say that this show wasn’t good. I’ve heard that some gave it one star (that means you, People Magazine). But I don’t see why people thought it was bad. Honestly I thought the show was really entertaining. The script was great, the characters were awesome and the acting, I thought, was awesome.  Kathy Bates plays the sarcastic and smart Harriet Korn. I loved her characters. She always had the best lines and the way she delivered them kept me laughing the whole time. Brittany Snow is Harriet’s shoe-obsessed secretary. She turns their law firm into a law firm/fine shoe store. I thought that was a funky twist. How many other law firms have fine shoes for sale? Um, zero. Another great character was Adam. He always had the FUNNIEST things to say ever. He was so random and over-the-top. He was awesome. He was played by Nate Corddry. I’d never heard of him before but I thought he played his part well. To complete the team was Malcolm, the guy who fell onto Harriet. He was played by Aml Ameen and I think he also did a great job playing the part. His character was really likeable, too. So sweet and sincere. A good guy tangled in a mess of problems caused by poor choices. After the first few episodes they added a character named Tommy Jefferson. He's my favorite. He's this insane and egotistical lawyer. He always hilarious - especially when he's not trying to be - and is a great addition to the show. The plot is about lawyers and a law firm. It’s court cases and all that jazz. Some people just don’t like that kind of show, and if you are one of those people you aren’t going to like this show. But if you like the occasional honest-to-goodness GOOD law/cop show then I think you’ll enjoy this as much as I did. It was funny and dramatic and at the end of the first episode Harriet had the best monologue. It was really good and made you think about the difference between law today and justice. Overall I think this is a really good show that lots of people would like. Even people who aren’t crazy about law and lawyer talk. Give it a try, at least. Personally, I can’t wait to watch the next episode.

Real Teen Rating~ A : Definitely check it out!

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P.S. I Love You - Hilary Swank, Gerard Butler, and Harry Connick Jr.

The Gist

P.S. I Love You
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Holly and Jerry had a rushed marriage, they were young and very much in love. He is from Ireland and is handsome and sweet. She gave up school and became a real estate agent so they could live together and have a great life. Jerry dies of a brain tumor before Holly turns thirty. She is devastated and loses herself until she gets mystery notes from Jerry left behind for her telling her how to get along. He tells her to buy things, do things and helps her live her life after he dies. All she needed was a little shove so that she can be herself again and with the help of Jerry, Daniel, and her two best girlfriends she is able to do that.


What We Think

Reviewed by ShoreWhisperer

Run Time: 125 minutes
Rating: PG-13

I watched this movie last night for the first time. I have a sister who, whenever I would suggest this movie would say, no we’ll watch it some other time. I had waited long enough. So, I got a big bowl of Doritos (my favorite chips, if anyone cares) and big glass of sprite (there was no Diet coke) and I sat in my room and anxiously waited for the movie to start. This movie was hilarious, Lisa Kudrow from Friends is in it and is a really good co-star, she makes the movie hilarious, along with Hilary Swank who plays the quirky, lovable Holly. Gerard Butler plays the loving Gerry who is amazing, he is funny, and cute and you love him from the start. I really loved this whole movie. Everything about it was good, the script was funny and dramatic, everything was in it’s proper place. The cast was a killer one, it was jammed pack full with famous people. I mean, Harry Connick Jr. is in there and everyone knows him. He played Daniel who had a condition that he just said everything he thought, and it was really cute. He actually had some good insight and was a strong character. What I liked most about the movie was that it was a surprise ending, in most romantic comedies the girl ends up with the usual suspect but the usual suspect wasn’t who she ended up with, acutally they had you thinking that it was going to end that way and when they kissed they both didn’t like it. It was quite refreshing to see that she wasn’t going to end up with Daniel, because they were better friends than they were a couple and itwas just a totally different ending than any other romantic comedies that I have seen.

Also, the plot line is just really well done, it is based off of the book by Cecelia Ahern, so props to her for making a really good plot line. Everything from when she lost herslef until she got the first letter was really fast paced and just kept chugging and when the plot seemed like it wasn’t going anywhere they had a funny scene or a plot mover, so I never felt bored or tired with what was going on. The two girlfriends were really well played, they played the two best friends perfectly. I mean, you see those two characters everywhere but they made it work in this movie. There was chemistry between the three girls and it was really refreshing to see. I was ready to watch a cheesy romantic comedy but instead I found a very well acted movie that was worth watching but still made me feel happy and sad, it is everything a romantic comedy should be and it is one of the best romantic comedies I have ever seen. It is a must see, especially if you haven’t seen it.

Real Teen Rating~ A+ : If you haven’t seen this movie you are a deprived soul!!!

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David Archuleta- The Other Side of Down

Reviewed by The North Star

Song Time: 41 Minutes and 58 Seconds

The Other Side of Down
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Before I get into this review, if you didn’t already know from reading the previous posts I love David Archuleta!!! Ever since he was on American Idol I have been a true Arch Angel (as the fans are called).  I will try my hardest not to be biased in this review but that is a little bit of information I thought that I might share.  This is David’s 3rd CD and in my eyes lives up to his first CD if it is not better.  This CD has a very wide range of songs from everyone to likes dance songs to the people who like the more calm songs.


Other Side of Down-7/10- In my opinion the first song on the CD should be one of the best ones.  This is kind of where they missed the mark because it isn’t one of the best songs on the CD.  Personally,  I hate slides in songs and this song is just one big slide.  I wish they had chosen a different song as the title but I will listen to this one if it comes on during shuffle.


Something ‘Bout Love-10/10- This was his first and only single off of this CD but I still to this day can listen to it on repeat for hours and not get sick of it.  The great thing about this song is that it is a great mixture between pop and dance music.  Sometimes you get songs that are strictly pop songs that are meant to be listened to in your room and dancing around with a hairbrush.  But this is one that you could dance in the streets singing with your friends or it could be a song that you just think of and can’t stop dancing.  Warning about this song though and that is it will get stuck in your head for days at a time.


Elevator-10/10- When I looked on iTunes before this CD came out and saw that he had a song titled Elevator I couldn’t help but laugh to myself thinking of the silliness of the song all about elevators.  So when I got the CD one of my priorities was to listen to this song first.  From the second I finished the song I was clicking the replay button and listening to it 5 or 6 more times before deciding to change the song but going back right after listening to another song.  This song is fun and one that everyone will love and like Something ‘Bout Love you will find yourself singing the chorus all the time!!


Stomping on the Roses-8.5/10- This is one I always skipped on when it came on my iPod because I hated the title.  After listening to everything else on the album I decided to go back and finally listen to it.  This song has a really good beat and you can’t help but nod your head or tap your foot.  The lyrics are very quick to pick up and depending how you interpret it could be cute!  One to listen for on the radio….


Who I Am-7.5/10- This is definitely the most uplifting song on his CD.  It is talking about how sometimes our lives can get so crazy we just need to take a step back and breathe and just figure everything out. I feel this is a song that most people can relate to lyric wise.  As far as the beat and sound go it is OK I can listen to it 1 or 2 times but then I have to change the song because I get tired of it but I never skip over it!  


Falling Stars-10/10- I LOVE this song!!!!!!!!!!!  It is about a boy who everyday is getting closer to losing the girl he loves because they are growing apart but he doesn’t want to lose her.  The music is beautiful and David’s voice is just beautiful and flows perfectly with the lyrics (weird analogy).  This is a song that all girls should own for those days when you need to be reminded of the sweet things that guys can do.  Overall, an amazing song.


Parachutes and Airplanes-8.5/10- Most songs grow on you but this song I loved when I first heard it but after to listening to it more times I got more sick of it and almost always skipped it.  I really like the versus’ of this song and the chorus is just so-so and the same thing with the beat/lyrics.  After taking a break from this song I did like it again but you have to take in small quantities. 


Look Around-10/10- I just love everything about this song. From the techno nosies in the back round to the lyrics to the beat to the oh’s in the chorus.  You can’t help but sing along the loudest you can when the OH’s come on even if it is way off pitch.  If you have been reading the entire post you can tell I judge a song a lot on the beat and this song has a great beat, you can’t help but tap your foot.

Good Place-11/10- This was the first song that I heard on this CD and after hearing it showed it to Shore. She then fell in love with it and then showed it to Living who also loved it.  I finally showed it Dream who now wants to listen to it every time she is over (this song and Elevator turned her into a fellow Arch Angel).  Everyone can relate to the lyrics and the arrangement is one that makes you listen to the song every second that you can! If you are buying single songs on iTunes, buy this one!!!

Complain-9.5/10- My favorite thing about this song is the message.  He is singing about how some days are really just not his day and sometimes he doesn’t get everything he wants but he can’t complain because he is still alive and breathing and if he wishes for the best then it will get better.  The lyrics like a lot of his other songs are ones that everyone can relate to. For me when I looked up the lyrics I realized that I feel that way sometimes but then so does everyone so no one is really alone when they feel that way and most likely things will get better.  One to listen to!! 


Thing Are Gonna Get Better-5.5/10- I really don’t like this song.  It is by FAR my least favorite song by him.  The lyrics are fine when you look at them by themselves and his voice sounds fine but the arrangement it terrible!!!  Who ever wrote the music for this song had a slump in their music career because it just sounds not well put together and it doesn’t flow and I can’t stand anything about it.  On the bright side the lyrics are uplifting and his voice sounds fine if you can separate his voice and the lyrics. 


My Kind of Perfect-10/10- This song is kind of like Falling Stars in the sense that it is extremely cute!!  He is talking about how he is waiting for the perfect girl and he knows she is somewhere out there and when he sees her he will know because she will be his kind of perfect.  The beat of this song is nice and slow and the piano part is really simple but sounds really pretty in the background.  I also love this song because he sings about a girl that is NORMAL for once.  Instead of singing a song about a really pretty model who every guy dreams about he is singing about a girl who likes to write songs, not stare in the mirror, and a little bit crazy. 


The Day After Tomorrow-9.2/10- This song gets a 9.2 because I really like it but it isn’t exactly a 9.5 but not a 9 either so I decided on a 9.2.  (:  This is the 3 really sweet song on this CD and my least favorite of the three.  When I first listened to it I didn’t listen to the lyrics I listened to the feel of the song and I thought it was pretty good so I listened to it again and it grew on me.  I wouldn’t skip it on my iPod but I don’t think I would really seek it out unless I had a certain reason to, but a good bonus track. 


Real Teen Rating~ A-: Very Impressive but not perfect!

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Hex Hall (Hex Hall #1) – Rachel Hawkins

The Gist

Hex Hall
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A simple love spell should have been easy. Get major-hottie-and-star-of-the-football-team, Kevin Bridges, to go to the prom with the-school-punching-bag, Felicia. Sophie Mercer had done harder spells before. Granted, none of them had ended well…but a love spell was one of the easiest in the book. What could go wrong? Then her love spells goes awry and Kevin not only wants to go to prom with Felicia, but becomes creepy-obsessed with her, Sophie is sentenced to Hecate Hall, a disciplinary school for young witches, warlocks, faeries and shape-shifters who have risked exposing magic to the world. The worst part is, her dad was the one who sent her there. Her nearly non-existant dad who she’s never met before. Her completely mortal mother just wants what’s best for her and tries to convince Sophie that her father – a powerful warlock – wants the same. Not like that makes much of a difference. Going to Hecate Hall is just as bad, no matter her parents’ reasons for making her go. And, of course, Sophie’s fist day goes horribly. Before she even gets in the building she’s attacked by a werewolf – only to be saved by Archer Cross, arrogant and gorgeous school bad boy and heart-throb. Then she finds out her room mate Jenna – the only vampire student at Hecate Hall –  is the prime suspect for the mysterious and gruesome death of  Holly – a dark witch who was Jenna’s room mate last year. But the more Sophie gets to know Jenna, the more sure she is that Jenna never killed anyone.  Next three dark witches (and most popular girls at the school), Elodie, Anna, and Chaston, try to get her to join their coven – and immediately hate her when she rejects their invitation. And to top it all off, by the end of the day she’s pretty sure she has a very annoying crush on a very unattainable warlock. Sophie’s pretty sure things can’t get much worse. Until people start getting attacked – the same way Holly was when she was killed. Sophie has to find out what’s really happening to the students before Jenna is blamed again. Before anyone else dies.

What We Think
Reviewed by Dream Catcher
Number of Pages: 323
First thing first I have to say something about the cover. I don’t know about everyone else but we here at Realteenreviews can’t stand it. I mean, is it supposed to be dramatic? Because it just looks childish to me. The cover artist could have done a LOT better. Actually, if I was the author – or the publisher – I would hire a new cover artist. One that could create a cover that makes people actually want to read the book. The thing that’s really bad about it is the reflection, I think. But that might just be me being picky. But despite the bad cover I read the book and thought it was really good! It always stinks when a good book is cursed with a bad cover. Moving on.
As long as we’re on the topic about judging a book before you read it…title. I thought it was pretty lame at first. Just like the cover, trying to be dramatic and just seeming corny. But it actually grew on me. I’m not saying I love it – they could have done better with it I think – but I still like it.
Now onto the less superficial aspects of the book. The writing style. I LOVED it.  Rachel Hawkins gave the main character, Sophie, a good voice through her writing. There was a line that made me laugh or at least smile on almost every page. Through the writing, Sophie was personable and funny and that’s what made the book so good. There was never too much description, but always enough to know what was going on and have a good picture in my mind. The thing I liked most about the writing style though had to be the fact that it was NOT stiff at all. There was a clear voice. I started reading and immediately went “YAY” because I knew the writing style was something would love right from the first line.
The first line. Like I always say: VERY IMPORTANT. Yeah. Here is it: “Felicia was crying in the bathroom. Again.” What do you think? As for me, I think it’s pretty good. It makes you ask questions, at least. Why is Felicia crying? Who is Felicia? And so on and so forth. This was one of the books in my to-read book stack (consisting currently of, like, twenty five books). So when I finished Beastly by Alex Flinn(review coming) I needed another book to read. I was looking through all of the books I had to read, looking at the covers and reading the first lines. Then I came to Hex Hall. I read the first line – more like the first paragraph – and thought “hey…this person can write!” so I decided to read that one.  I think that alone proves that the first line was good.
Now: Plot. How many times have you read/heard about a book that’s about witches going to a witch school? Answer being: too many times. But there were other aspects of the plot that were original. Like the fact that there were magic hunters. I didn’t mention that in the gist. Oops. It’s more of a side plot thingy so I didn’t include it. But there are these three groups of people who hunt and kill off as many magic beings – witches, warlocks, shape-shifters, vampires, faeries - as the can. The Alliance (group of government workers), the Brannicks (an Irish family with some witch blood, giving them magic power) and the L’Occhio di Dio (the most dangerous and powerful of the groups. Headquarters in Italy and has always been most successful with killing). I thought that part of the plot was really original and interesting. Then there was the little murder-mystery. It sounds lame when I wrote it in the gist. It was good in the book, take my word for it. Not lame. Serious and honestly a good mystery. Kept me guessing. BUT the very best thing about the plot (and probably the whole book) were the PLOT TWISTS. Seriously. I kept saying “woah, what?!”. I never saw some of the things coming. Well…technically I saw one of them coming but that was because I read a review where the first line was a HUGE spoiler. They didn’t even warn me! Needless to say, I was mad at the reviewer. But if I hadn’t read the spoiler I would never have guessed it. Plot twists were amazing!
Characters were another great part of the book. Sophie Mercer, the main character, was personable and really funny. Her voice shined through the writing and made me want to keep reading no matter what time at night it was (ex: 1 AM). She was strong and goofy and scared all at the same time. She was real and admirable at the same time. Archer Cross was AMAZING. I loved his character. He was egotistic and arrogant and sarcastic. But also sweet. Really good character. I always looked forward to reading about him with Sophie. They made a great team (team is a weird word for it…but it kinda works) with them trading sarcastic and witty remarks that were always really funny. Jenna was another really awesome character. She was a vampire. And what do you expect with a vampire? Someone dark and mysterious and fighting with the inner demon inside her. Or something like that, right? Well Jenna was NOT like that at all and that’s what made her so awesome. Her favorite color was hot pink and she was a great friend who always had Sophie’s back. She had some really great one-liners. Great kinda-side-kick character. Mrs. Casnoff was the principal of Hecate Hall and made a good stern, almost motherly character. I dunno. Just thought her character was worth mentioning. Elodie, Anna, and Chaston were perfect antagonists. They were mean and snobby and very real. Like some stuck-up clique you’d find at a real highschool. So for characters I give it an A+.
I’m looking at some notes I made about the book and the next bullet point simply says: dialogue = VERY GOOD. Very simply stated. Short, sweet and to the point, I guess. Not much else to say about that. The dialogue was very real. At the same time it was sharp and witty. All I can say is “good job, Rachel Hawkins” because, honestly, good dialogue has been hard to come by lately. It’s a shame, but it’s true. So I was pleasantly surprised by the dialogue. On that, BRAVO.
I’m going to end with the end. The ending line. CLIFFIE. That is all. Seriously though, it was a major cliff-hanger. I finished the book and said to myself  “When’s the second one coming out?” Not soon enough. Now the last line is dialogue and usually I’m annoyed when a book starts or finishes with dialogue. It comes off as corny to me. But not here. It was kinda dramatic. So, since the end line really made me want to read the second book, I say it was pretty good!
Overall I really enjoyed the book. I was reading it non-stop for three days and constantly saying to my friends “It’s really good!”. They didn’t believe me. But I think this honestly was a good book. I would definitely recommend it to people. Ooh fun fact: (I found this out on the Hex Hall facebook page) While Rachel Hawkins was writing the All Hallows Eve Ball scene (read it and find out what THAT means ) she played the song “Luv” by Travis over and over on repeat. It became Archer and Sophie’s theme. Read this book!
Real Teen Rating~ A : Go Buy Now.

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Season Of The Witch - Nicholas Cage, Ron Perlman, and Claire Foy

The Gist 

Season of the Witch
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Two crusaders, Behmen and Felson, have been friends for a while and they signed up for the crusades together. So, they leave the crusades together and find themselves in the midsts of a raging plague. To be specific, the bubonic plague. Villagers have reason to believe that a girl who is a “witch” has cast a terrible curse on them and that she is the cause of the plague. If the two crusaders can get her to the monks and cure her of her “sickness” then the world can be saved and the plague cured. When the cardinal of the church asks them to join their quest. Finally, after a little thought they willingly oblige. They set off: the two friends, a priest, a faithful soldier, a merchant and a wannabe knight to deliver this girl to the monks and to perpetually save the world.


What We Think

Reviewed by ShoreWhisperer

Run Time: 98 Minutes
Rating: PG-13

I had never seen previews of this movie when I went to see this movie. I had heard that Nicholas Cage was doing another movie about a witch, or something like that but I wasn’t thinking about going. When I heard that this movie was quite gory, and a tad scary I perked up. Hopefully, there would be a reason to go see this movie after all. I will be honest, Nicholas Cage’s performances have been decreasing in talent and in actual good quality acting for a while. I liked National Treasure and I love the movie The Family Man, but really Sorcerer’s Apprentice did not floor me and left me wanting more. When he agreed to doanother about witches I got a little nervous. This was nothing like the Sorcerer’s Apprentice. First off, Disney would never allow the language in this movie. Second, the details to all the diseases and other things was not lacking in anything, quite unlike in Sorcerer’s Apprentice. This isn’t a comparison of the two movies though.

I liked this movie, I really did. After a while you get tired of watching all the attractive men in the world being stolen by equally as gorgeous women in a number of ways. So the movie that creeps me out, grosses me out, doesn’t make me cry but rather makes me want to go crawl under my blankets and pretend that I am in a world where nothing will hurt me is the movie that I wanted to go see. This movie succeeded in those terms. I was scared, but it wasn’t scary, in a weird way. It was a very suspenseful movie I was always waiting for things to jump out and make me scream but a lot of the times that didn’t really happen but that tension made the movie be always on the edge of your seat. In terms of grossness, I had to stop eating my gobstoppers and coke because the detail that they gave plague and what it actually looked like was immense and it was sickening. Luckily there were not too many of those scenes. The creepiness factor was pretty good, it was a very creepy movie and it was all dependent on Claire Foy who played ’The Girl’ or Anna. She was amazing, I was creeped out by her. I think it’s because she was good at looking innocent and poor and beaten that when lines like “let me heal your pain” or some other really un-innocent line came out of her mouth it was unsettling because of how innocent she did look. The whole movie had an unsettling feeling to it. The setting was a primary part of that and they hit it right on, the set was amazing and also the time period was captured really well. I could almost feel what it was like to be living in that time period where there was always this underlying fear of always obeying the rules and loyally following the church no matter if they are abusing their powers. That was all done very well and set the mood of the movie perfectly.

But the script…everything was goood….except the script. Now this is such a fixable thing that it annoys me. Anyone who enjoys watching a movie that is based in a different time periods and appreciates the authenticity that comes with it does not want to hear a man wearing chainmail during the crusades say this: “Did you see the cardinal? He looked like someone just p***ed in his holy water.” A crusader would never in a million jillion years EVER SAY THAT!!!!!! I understand that this movie is not supposed to be strictly a history film but it does have that aspect to it so is it right to through that vital part of the movie right out the window? I don’t think it is, I also understand that we have to ‘dumb down’ the scripts and the language so everyone can understand what they are saying. You don’t have to ‘dumb it down’ so much that it doesn’t even fit in the time period. I thought that the line was funny I do admit that but there was tons of that stuff but only in certain characters. There were characters like Kay and Anna that had lines that actually fit the time period and were easier to understand. It does not even make sense to have someone in a crusader get up speaking like he is from the twenty first century that only works at halloween parties. That bugged me through the entire movie, it was so annoying that I couldn’t even lke those characters as much as I should since it was mostly Felson and Behmen speaking those lines. It is an easily fixable change that would have made the movie so much better.

I also did not like the devil. They had me ready to see this horrendous monster that would make me want to cry and instead it looked more like a dinosaur. Yes it had pincers and and it did this weird thing that it could hug you with it’s wings and then burn you alive, even that did not scare me. I wanted something more grotesque he looked more like a gargoyle come to life. When you are doing a movie like this you have to understand where your oppurtunities are and you can not let them lag especially at the climax. That is the time where you have the audiences feelings in the palm of your hand and you can do anything you want with it. That’s what we want to happen too. We want to be scared or choked up or happy but you have to do something. That is vital but it wasn’t fully there in this movie. I was vaguely nervous because of the monster but it could have been more and that made me upset.You can’t let something like that have missing pieces, it’s ok if there are missing moments during the rest of the movie but if you can just effectively mold the climax so it gets the feeling that you want then I feel like you have accomplished a really good movie. Just to clarify though, you should not overdo the emotional thing because then it becomes obvious what you are trying to do.

I think that’s it, except for the ending because it was lame. It was very lame. I know that it is a classic to have two figures riding off to somewhere unknown on horseback but it is way over used and boring. I wanted something more, maybe with more of a BANG! What can you do right? Endings, like the climax are vital in a movie and they HAVE to be good or else everything that led up to that isn’t as good as it seemed. That’s it… all in all, this movie is not a must see and it was not an I LOVE THIS MOVIE!!!!!! type of thing it was more like and “oh… that was ok” because it was ok but it was not great.

Real Teen Rating ~ C+ : Just Average

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The Tourist - Angelina Jolie, Johnny Depp, and Paul Bettany

Real Teen Award
-Worst Movie in 2010

The Gist

Elise Clifton-Ward starts off her day just like it is any normal day.  She puts on her fancy clothes walks down onto the streets of Paris and towards the her regular morning Café and of course she is being stalked by guys in a white unmarked van.  This morning she sits down and orders her regular breakfast but then a local paper boy comes and hands her a letter from her “lover”(Alexander Pearce) saying to find someone his height and his build and lead people to believe that the person she picks is him.  She then burns the letter and sets off to the train to find a man.  The people in the unmarked van then run to where she was sitting to see if they can discover what the letter has said but sadly it is burned.  Elise then boards the train and finds the perfect man to resemble her “lover” and his name is Frank Tupelo, a math teacher from America.  Confused Frank decides to play along to the little game and pretend to be Alexander.  Soon Elise and Frank are on the run from a bunch of different groups of people trying to catch Frank a.k.a “Alexander Pearce” and as they run farther they learn more about each other and how they aren’t so different.

What We Think

Reviewed by The North Star

Run Time: 103 Minutes
Rating: PG-13

Where to begin…..well that is a terrible gist because I tried so hard not to show my great disappointment in this movie.  This movie deceived me because when I saw the commercials I thought “even though it has Angelina Jolie who is just an OK actor the movie will be good because it has Johnny Depp in it.”  Boy, was I wrong.

The acting was ABSOLUTELY HORRENDOUS from both Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie.  Since seeing this movie I have written Angelina off on a list of actors to never ever see in a movie no matter what.  She simply just can’t act and I never feel anything for any of the characters she plays except for the feeling of them to get off the screen.  As for Johnny Depp, I haven’t seen a bunch of his movies but the ones I have seen have always been really good and I have heard nothing but good things about the movies I haven’t seen staring him.  In this movie his acting was completely unbelievable.  His character was supposed to be a math teacher from the middle of the United States so when you are getting shot at I think you would be running and screaming at the top of your lungs and at least freaking out a little but he decided that he was just going to jog away like he had done it a million times before.  So the acting gets a zero.

Plot.  A woman is being tracked all over the world because of her boyfriend and then having to pretend someone else is her boyfriend because he is a fugitive.  This is something that sounds interesting and if executed right should be really interesting.  Well, no offense to the director of this movie but he didn’t do a good job at all.  The actors seemed lost the whole time and the way the director portrayed the script was terrible and in a way that made me hate the plot.  There was also supposed to be this huge “plot twist” at the end but from 10min into the movie I had figured out what it was and it wasn’t revealed until a lot later in the movie.

The one good thing about this movie was that in the beginning Angelina Jolie wore a very pretty dress but that was it.  That was the only outfit of hers that I liked the rest of them were either ehh or blech.  The only thing saving this movie from a complete zero was that my family and I when we went to go see this movie got the WHOLE theater to ourselves which saved the movie because towards the end we all started Mystery Science Theatering the entire movie and making fun of it and that was better than the actual script.  At the end my dad stood up and said, “JOHNNY DEPP I WANT MY MONEY BACK!” and then quietly left the theater.  So the actual memory of the movie is what keeps it from getting a zero.  In closing, do not see this movie, EVER it will be a waste of your money

Real Teen Rating~ F: Don’t waste your time or money, you will want it back!

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Lungs- Florence + The Machine

Real Teen Award
-Breakout Artist of 2010

Reviewed by Dream Catcher

Song Time: 46 Minutes and 13 Seconds

Lungs
Buy it here and support our blog

Florence and the Machine was first discovered in 2008, surprising the U.K with their funky “punk-infused” sound. Their first single, “A Kiss With a Fist” was new and unique and eventually led to them creating their first album, Lungs.  Lungs features more punk-y music and includes “A Kiss With a Fist” and the song that has come to be pretty popular in the U.S. “Dog Days Are Over”.  Fun Fact: “Dog Days Are Over” was covered on Glee, but isn’t nearly as good as the original. They may not be the most well-known band ever, or the most popular, but I think their music is really different. The lead singer, Brit Florence Welch, has a really cool sounding voice and some of her songs sound really powerful and filled with emotion.  Warning: some of their songs are just plain weird. Insanity. But I’ve learned to appreciate their interesting lyrics and funky sound. 


Dog Days Are Over – 10/10 – I don’t remember when I first heard this song. What I do remember is that when I heard it that first time, I thought it was one of the weirdest songs ever. But after I heard it a few more times I really started to like it. When I learned what the words were – because with Florence and the Machine it’s really hard to hear what they’re saying – I liked the song even more. This is their song that’s the most popular, I think. The song people most likely know. It has really weird but interesting lyrics and a good beat. Definitely one of my favorite songs on the CD.  Even if you don’t like the rest of the CD, I would recommend you buy this song as a single, or something. Favorite line from the song “Leave all you love and your longing behind/you can’t carry it with you if you want to survive”. I’m not sure what it is, but there’s just something amazing about this song that never gets old.


Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up) – 10/10 – Love this song. It has some interesting sounds throughout it, like maybe a harp-type-thing or something. Cool. I really like this song, but part of it I’m not so crazy about. There’s this line sung periodically and sounds almost like a tribal chant. “Raise it Up, Raise it Up!”.  Other than that part (and I don’t even hate that) I really like the verses and the lyrics, because they’re funky and like nothing I’ve ever heard (in an awesome way). The melody is great because she sings a lot higher than the other songs on the CD and it sounds really good (pretty, even). Favorite Line: “Midas is king, and he holds me so tight/and turns me to gold in the sunlight”. 


 I’m Not Calling You A Liar – 11/10 – When I first heard this song, my reaction was “argh!”. In other words “gross!”. But I kept listening to it anyway, telling myself that it would be like “Dog Days Are Over” and it would seriously grow on me. Fortunately, it did. Now it’s my favorite song on the CD and maybe one of my favorite overall currently. I’m constantly singing it because the lyrics are really weird and awesome. What I love about them is that they’re something you’d never think to say, or think to make into a lyric. I think this song is also really good on her voice, too. The only problem is that the same lyrics are basically repeated over a few times. I guess I didn’t really mind though, because I really like them anyways. Favorite line: “There’s a ghost in my lungs and it sighs in my sleep”.


Howl – 8.5/10 – This is a slightly above average song. It sounds kinda techno with a fast beat. It’s pretty good, I guess. It certainly isn’t my favorite in CD. It’s one of those songs that you don’t really mind listening to, but wouldn’t seek it out or want to replay it a second time. The weirdest part about it is that the chorus is my least favorite part. I don’t mind the verses, but I think the chorus is just a little too…I dunno…odd, I guess. For me, at least. But it's grown on me a lot. The good thing about this song is that it’s packed full of descriptive lyrics. Favorite Line: “I’ve held it in but now it seems you’ve set it running free/ Screaming in the dark, I howl when we’re apart”.


A Kiss With A Fist - 9/10 – This song is basically about a couple abusing each other. So the message of the song is really bad.  The lyrics say it all: “A kiss with a fist is better than none”.  Is it? I certainly don’t think so. So that’s what’s annoying about that song. It’s really very catchy and has an interestingly screechy guitar solo thing in the middle. Even if you don’t like it at first (like me, simply because of the violent lyrics) it’ll grow on you. So, overall, pretty good. Favorite Line: “You smash a plate over my head/then I set fire to our bed”.


Girl With One Eye – 10/10 – A very different sound from the other songs on the CD. This one has some edgy guitar in it and the singer sounds aggressive and pretty angry. This, be warned, is a very weird song. Why is there a girl with one eye? Because Florence + The Machine cut out her other one. Lovely. Yeah, really weird song, but I like it. Not exactly sure why, but I think it’s the guitar and the melody. What I realized when listening to this song was that the singer has a very ugly-beautiful type voice. It’s beautiful in its imperfectness. She doesn’t always have to sound perfect and cookie-cutter. That’s what makes her voice always sounds amazing and – in an awesomely imperfect way – perfect. Very different and that’s why I like it. I also kind of like the fact that the lyrics tell a story, almost. Even if the story is a little gruesome… a story is a story, so points for originality. Oh, well. Favorite Line: “Well, she's lucky that I didn’t slip her smile/that’s why she sleeps with one eye open”.


Drumming Song – 9/10 – Needless to say, there is a lot of drumming in this song. I’m not sure why I like this song so much, because it’s really weird. It has a really good beat – because of all the drumming  – and it’s catchy. I think this is another good song for her voice. Kinda pretty in a weird way. I don’t like the beginning of this song that much because it is literally all drums, but give it a chance because it gets better. Yeah. I really like this song. Favorite Line: “I run to the river and dive straight in/I pray the water will drown the din/but as the water fills my mouth/it couldn’t wash the echos out”.


Between Two Lungs – 8.5/10 – This isn’t my favorite song, and I’ve had a hard time figuring out what to rate it because I don’t feel the need, or the want to listen to it. It starts out really slow with a slow drumbeat to match. When she starts singing the beat stays exactly the same. Slow and steady, but after a few lines it picks up and gets better. It pretty much stays exactly like that for the rest of the song. The chorus is my favorite part of the song, even if all it is the words “trapped between two lungs” over and over. The sound is nice. It’s a  pretty good song, but nothing remarkable. Favorite Line: “Gone are all the days of begging/ the days of theft/ no more gasping for a breath”.


Cosmic Love – 10/10 -  I love the lyrics of this song; they sound kinda poetic. I feel like a broken record. I keep saying that the songs all have good beats. But it’s true! And this song was no exception. It’s hard to explain, but it’s not the norm and that’s what makes it awesome. But the thing I like best about this song is when she sings this oooooaaahhhhhhoooooo type thing. You’d know it if you heard it. Overall, a really good song. Lyrics are amazing. Favorite Line: “No dawn, no day, I’m always in this twilight/in the shadow of your heart”.


 My Boy Builds Coffins – 9/10 -  This song is exactly what it sounds like. It’s about a guy who builds coffins. Yeah, this is one of the weirder songs in the CD. It’s a very mellow song, despite the weird lyrics.  It’s slow, but always gets stuck in my head. It’s an interestingly good song with a cool percussion. Favorite Line: “He’s made one for himself/one for me too/one of these days he’ll make one for you”. Kinda morbid, but true. I love it.


Hurricane Drunk – 9.5/10 – At first I didn’t really like this song. I didn’t think it was worth listening to. But after forcing myself to listen to it (so I could write a real review for it) I found that I really actually liked it. The tune of the chorus makes this song sound almost cheery or determined maybe. But it’s really sad! About a girl who finds out her boyfriend is cheating on her and is seriously upset about it. She says “I’m gunna drink myself to death”. Sad. But I like it. The song has a good beat (haven’t heard that yet have we? ) and I think is becoming one of my favorites on the CD. Favorite Line: ” But when you look over/ you look right through/ then you lean and kiss her on the head/and I’ve never felt so alive and so dead”.


Blinding – 9/10 – I don’t know why, but I was never motivated to listen to this song. But eventually I did listen to it, and I thought it was pretty good. It’s a slower song with a lower melody. The lyrics are the better part of this song, I think. They’re really good. But there’s another small thing I like about this song. It’s a tiny aspect of the song as a whole, but during the chorus there’s this sound, like the plucking of a harp or violin or cello or viola or something. Some string instrument. It really adds to the song in a subtle way. Coolio. Favorite Line “No more dreaming of the dead as if death itself was undone”.


You’ve Got the Love – 8.5/10 -  This is the last song I listened to on the CD. It didn't really impress me. There was nothing special about it. It kind of lacked luster and the lyrics were just okay. I wouldn’t be too eager to listen to it again, but I wouldn't be upset if I had to. Just kinda one of those in between type songs with not much good or bad about it. I have a feeling it'll grow on me. Favorite Line “Now and then it seems that life is just too much/but you’ve got the love I need to see me through”.


I was looking up these songs to find the lyrics, and I think that the album Lungs is a collection of a bunch of their singles (with a few add-ons). Yeah, I think that was a fun fact, or something. Cool to know, right? Now, I know that not all people like this type of music, but I think you should give it a chance. I didn’t think I was going to like this CD so much, but after listening to it I found that I really liked almost all of the songs. Music will surprise you! Give it a chance!


Real Teen Rating~ A : Worth Buying!

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