The Gist:
Freddy and Gustavo get busted for talking during a test, and what is their punishment? The principal sentences them to a social suicide mission; go on a fourth grade field trip to a museum. The seemingly normal trip to a museum turns into an unexpected adventure revolving around a mysterious and powerful scroll with the power of time travel. The boys did NOT know what they were getting into.
What We Think
Reviewed by Dream Catcher
Number of Pages: 28
I've never been one for ebooks of any sort. But, hey, this was recommended to us, and it was only 28 pages, and there was a free download on smashwords. Win, win, win, right? That's what I thought. So I went on to smashwords and just viewed it from there. And I read it. I wanted to like it. But I did not.
First thing: the whole story was completely ridiculous. The only reason they're going to the museum at all is because they were talking during a test. They were sentenced to the principal, who promptly sentenced them to going on a FIELD TRIP (some punishment, right?) with fourth graders. That would never happen. Ever. UGH. Oh, and let me point out a plot hole. They travel back in time to the 1600s and meet a Native American shaman (basically a psychic). And he speaks perfect English. I don't think every single 17th century native american was fluent in English. A few knew it, but it's known that not every single native knew the language. So think of the odds that Freddy and Gustavo happened to come across one of the few who DID speak English. It's a small detail, but still. THEN, at certain points Freddy and Ochu (the shaman guy) say these spell type things that supposedly came from the spirits (or whatever) of the Native Americans. But if that was the case...why were the spells in LATIN? Native Americans didn't speak Latin, much less make important time-travel spells out of it! Now, the author never comes out and says it's in Latin. No, I just thought, hey that looks like Latin... It'd be funny if it actually was, because that really wouldn't make ANY sense at all. And I looked it up. AND IT WAS. The time travel spell just says, time past present future in Latin (very original, by the way), except he spelled 'time' wrong in Latin. It's tempus, not tempos. Jeez. Get it right, man. The other spells aren't any more original, or any less Latin. So, points off for un-authenticity.
Another thing: the supposed plot twists. They weren't twisty! AT ALL. I saw everything coming and wasn't the least bit surprised by any of the character's epiphanies or the anything else. So...plot twists were kind of a fail. A complete fail.
I would mention something about the characters, but there's really nothing to report. They were dull and cliche. Oh! And awkward. How could I EVER forget awkward? Enough said.
Then there was the writing. It was awkward and half of the lines were run-on sentences that didn't make any sense. There was this prologue thing at the beginning that served virtually no purpose to the rest of the story. It would have been better if the prologue was worded differently (I could hardly understand what was going on because of the unclear sentence structure) or if it had been taken out completely. The dialogue was also really awkward. Most of it was too stiff and not something a normal kid would say (i.e. "hello mother" is weird, especially when compared to normal phrases like "hey", "hi" or even "hi, mom"). So that really could have used some work. Then there was the author's need to point out everything that was blatantly obvious to the reader. He'd point out something random and unnecessary. Something that everyone should have been able to figure out on their own. It was annoying to have everything spelled out over and over.
I won't even get into the horrific amount of grammar typos...ugh. An editor's nightmare.That's basically it...except I have to mention one more thing. At one point, Freddy's talking to his teacher and he addresses her, not as her actual name, but 'teacher'. He just says something like "But, teacher - ". Maybe it's just me, but I don't think people tend to say that. I dunno. It's something to think on. Sadly, there was NO redeeming quality at all in this book. I honestly couldn't find one thing I liked about it. I wanted to like this. But I couldn't. Sorry.
Real Teen Rating ~ F : Don't even bother.
Freddy and Gustavo get busted for talking during a test, and what is their punishment? The principal sentences them to a social suicide mission; go on a fourth grade field trip to a museum. The seemingly normal trip to a museum turns into an unexpected adventure revolving around a mysterious and powerful scroll with the power of time travel. The boys did NOT know what they were getting into.
What We Think
Reviewed by Dream Catcher
Number of Pages: 28
I've never been one for ebooks of any sort. But, hey, this was recommended to us, and it was only 28 pages, and there was a free download on smashwords. Win, win, win, right? That's what I thought. So I went on to smashwords and just viewed it from there. And I read it. I wanted to like it. But I did not.
First thing: the whole story was completely ridiculous. The only reason they're going to the museum at all is because they were talking during a test. They were sentenced to the principal, who promptly sentenced them to going on a FIELD TRIP (some punishment, right?) with fourth graders. That would never happen. Ever. UGH. Oh, and let me point out a plot hole. They travel back in time to the 1600s and meet a Native American shaman (basically a psychic). And he speaks perfect English. I don't think every single 17th century native american was fluent in English. A few knew it, but it's known that not every single native knew the language. So think of the odds that Freddy and Gustavo happened to come across one of the few who DID speak English. It's a small detail, but still. THEN, at certain points Freddy and Ochu (the shaman guy) say these spell type things that supposedly came from the spirits (or whatever) of the Native Americans. But if that was the case...why were the spells in LATIN? Native Americans didn't speak Latin, much less make important time-travel spells out of it! Now, the author never comes out and says it's in Latin. No, I just thought, hey that looks like Latin... It'd be funny if it actually was, because that really wouldn't make ANY sense at all. And I looked it up. AND IT WAS. The time travel spell just says, time past present future in Latin (very original, by the way), except he spelled 'time' wrong in Latin. It's tempus, not tempos. Jeez. Get it right, man. The other spells aren't any more original, or any less Latin. So, points off for un-authenticity.
Another thing: the supposed plot twists. They weren't twisty! AT ALL. I saw everything coming and wasn't the least bit surprised by any of the character's epiphanies or the anything else. So...plot twists were kind of a fail. A complete fail.
I would mention something about the characters, but there's really nothing to report. They were dull and cliche. Oh! And awkward. How could I EVER forget awkward? Enough said.
Then there was the writing. It was awkward and half of the lines were run-on sentences that didn't make any sense. There was this prologue thing at the beginning that served virtually no purpose to the rest of the story. It would have been better if the prologue was worded differently (I could hardly understand what was going on because of the unclear sentence structure) or if it had been taken out completely. The dialogue was also really awkward. Most of it was too stiff and not something a normal kid would say (i.e. "hello mother" is weird, especially when compared to normal phrases like "hey", "hi" or even "hi, mom"). So that really could have used some work. Then there was the author's need to point out everything that was blatantly obvious to the reader. He'd point out something random and unnecessary. Something that everyone should have been able to figure out on their own. It was annoying to have everything spelled out over and over.
I won't even get into the horrific amount of grammar typos...ugh. An editor's nightmare.That's basically it...except I have to mention one more thing. At one point, Freddy's talking to his teacher and he addresses her, not as her actual name, but 'teacher'. He just says something like "But, teacher - ". Maybe it's just me, but I don't think people tend to say that. I dunno. It's something to think on. Sadly, there was NO redeeming quality at all in this book. I honestly couldn't find one thing I liked about it. I wanted to like this. But I couldn't. Sorry.
Real Teen Rating ~ F : Don't even bother.










