Four Reviewers. Four Different Perspectives. Read 'em all!

New Book Reviews
The Color Purple - Alice Cooper
The Monstrumologist - Rick Yancey
Ripper - Stefan Petrucha

New Movie Reviews
Oz the Great and Powerful - James Franco and Mila Kunis
Magic Mike - Channing Tatum and Alex Pettyfer
Hotel Transylvania - Adam Sandler and Andy Samberg

New Music Reviews
Glee - Vitamin D
+ (Deluxe Edition) - Ed Sheeran
Katy Perry- Teenage Dream: The Complete Confection

New Television Reviews
Elementary - CBS
Partners - CBS
Wilfred - FX

New Random Reviews
Facebook
Fun Size Candy
Janoskians

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Glee - Vitamin D

Reviewed by The North Star
Song Time: 4 Minutes

Halo/Walking on Sunshine
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It's My Life / Confessions Part II - 8/10 - This is the first mash-up ever on Glee.  Whoa.  Anyways in the episode they have a battle of boys vs. girls and each group has to take two songs and make them into one song.  This is a mash-up of It's My Life by Bon Jovi and Confessions Part II by Usher. I like this song because it took a classic song and mixed it with a more unknown song and it actually does sound like it could be a song on its own.  All of the boys sound good on the song I just don't love it.  I like this but I don't love it, which is why it gets an 8 out of 10.

Halo / Walking on Sunshine - 9/10 - In my mind I think that the girls won this battle.  In the episode all of the girls took performing enhancement drugs so that they could beat the boys (who did the same thing).  This is a mash-up of Halo by Beyonce and Walking On Sunshine by Katrina & the Waves.  This song sounds less like a real song than the boys but I like listening to this one a lot more.  The girls have beautiful harmonies and the voices really seem to work off one another.  At the end of the song Rachel hits this note that is.....very high.  Every time I listen to the song I'm not sure if I like the note or not but it's very impressive.  If you bought one from the episode this one is the one to buy but they are both really good.

Real Teen Rating ~ B: Check it out but, really, there's no rush

Real Teen Download: Halo/Walking on Sunshine

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Glee - Preggers and The Rhodes Not Taken

Reviewed by The North Star
Song Time: 20 Minutes

Since they only sang one song in Preggers I decided to combine the episode with the episode after.

Maybe This Time
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Taking Chances - 9/10 - This is the only song from the episode Preggers.  Before I write anything about the song I just have to take a moment to say how talented Lea Michele is.  In this episode Rachel has decided to quit the Glee club and audition for the school musical and this is her audition song.  Up to this point her songs had just been OK and they didn't really show off her voice but finally with the song it does.  I love how it starts off slow in the beginning and then begins to pick up as it goes.  I like her version because it isn't dramatized like the original.  Lea Michele does a great job with this song and I'm always pleasantly surprised when I find it on my iPod.

Maybe This Time - 11/10 - I'm in love with this song.  When they first sang it on Glee I bought it right when the episode ended and I'm pretty sure that I listened to it on repeat for hours.  This song is duet between April Rhodes (Kristen Chenoweth) and Rachel.  They both sing about how they never win but maybe this time they will win.  Anyways this song is amazing.  Both Kristen and Lea sound great on the song.  In the very end they sing together and the harmonies that they create send shivers down my spine every time I listen to it.  Like Taking Chances it starts off slow and mellow and then as the song goes on it picks up and keeps adding layers.  This is definitely one of my top favorite Glee songs and every time I listen to it, it makes me want to get up on a stage and sing along with them.  Seriously go listen to it right now.

Alone - 7/10 - If you have ever heard the original version of this song then basically no cover will ever compare.  In the episode April and Mr. Shoe (short for Mr. Schuester) go to a bowling alley and sing karaoke because in high school Mr. Shoe always wanted to sing a duet with April.  As far as duet songs go I'm not sure this was the smartest decision.  The verses of the song sound fine but neither of them sound amazing on the chorus which is the best part or even in the harmonies.  In the harmonies all I can hear is Kristin Chenoweth which is sad because Matthew Morrison sounds good.  Parts of this song are good but as a whole it's just so-so.  I don't love it but I don't hate it either.

Last Name - 6.5/10 - Oh Glee doing a Carrie Underwood song, here we go.  In the episode April gets drunk on the stage at a huge performance while the glee club sings back-up.  I just don't think this is the right song for Kristin Chenoweth's voice.  It doesn't sound horrible but it doesn't sound great either.  There are a lot of better songs they could have picked her to sing drunk on the stage.  The way that she sings it is way too cutesy when it's supposed to be regret and confusion.  It reminded me of a concert where the singer just sings the song but doesn't perform it.  Don't bother listening to it.

Somebody to Love - 9.5/10 - I love Queen.  With that said this version does not even come close to the original.  Even though it doesn't compare it's actually a pretty good cover of the song.  In the episode they sing it for the community to show them what glee club is all about.  One of my favorite parts of this song is that a lot of people get little solos to sing instead of just one person singing the whole thing by themselves.  My favorite part of the song has to be when they cut off and then come back in slowing chanting "find me somebody to love" and it keeps building and building and building with more and more people singing until it reaches the peak.  Then Mercedes sings her part and then the whole song finishes strong.  If the beginningish was as fantastic as the end I would give it a 10/10 but it is definitely worth listening to.

Real Teen Rating ~ B+ : Check it out sometime!

Real Teen Download: Maybe This Time

Reviewed by Living Destiny

Taking Chances - 10/10 - This is one of my early favorites. It's soft and sweet, and in the beginning it has a quality like a lullaby. Then it starts to get faster after the first chorus, and it starts to sound more intense. This song shows off both the high and low register for Lea Michele, and it's absolutely beautiful. I know they need diversity on the show, but I think if they just did songs like this, I'd still be watching.

Maybe This Time - 7/10 - I know this is a duet, but for the beginning half of the song, either I can't distinguish voices, or it's just Kristen Chenoweth. Which is totally ok, because she's so talented. I'm not sure it needed to be a duet at all though. There's like one harmony in the whole thing, and it isn't super necessary. Not to say this is a bad song, because it's very pretty. But it's never been my cup of tea.

Alone - 9/10 - North Star is right when she said that no cover can compare with the original. Although people insist on covering it. The duet aspect made it interesting, because originally the song is sung by just a woman, and adding a male voice makes it stand out. Rock duets are so edgy and exciting and fun to listen to. I've always loved this song, and this is actually the best cover of it I've heard. Of the two duets this episode, this is the better one.

Last Name - 5/10 - I didn't like this song when it first came out. I don't know why, but something about it didn't click right with me. This version doesn't make me like it any better. I love Kristen Chenoweth, but this isn't her song. She sounds good on it, but there's nothing behind it. The spoken lines are the best part of it, because she sounds so little and confused, and it's kind of funny. And it just drags on and on forever. She doesn't sound awful singing, I just always hate this song.

Somebody to Love - 9/10 - I remember singing this song in the car with my friends. It's an incredibly well done choral arrangement of a classic song, mush like Don't Stop Believin' was in the first episode. This song highlights a lot of different singers, which is nice to hear. It's one of those songs that makes you want to stand up and rock out like a total dork, and that's ok. The bridge is really awesome, starting out quiet and getting loud and intense, with a few soloists riffing throughout it. This is all around a nice song to listen to.

Real Teen Rating ~ B-: Not bad

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The Color Purple - Alice Cooper

The Gist

The Color Purple
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Celie is a poor black woman in the 1960s. She tells the story of her life through letters. She is physically and mentally abused, constantly put down by her stepfather and husband, and is too meek to fight back. When she meets Shug, a jazz singer and mistress of her husband, she starts to realize that being a black woman doesn't mean she's worthless, and she can be whoever and whatever she wants to be.

What We Think
Reviewed by Living Destiny
Number of Pages: 295
Honestly, is summer reading ever anything good? No. It isn't. And The Color Purple certainly isn't the exception to that rule. I really hated it. First of all, let me just talk about the writing for a minute. Dialect. For those lucky souls that don't know what dialect is, it's when you write in an accent, and you write the way the words sound. So in a Boston dialect, the word car would be written out as "cah". You can just imagine how obnoxious that would be. And this whole book is written in dialect. I understand that the book is set in the south, the dialect is unnecessary. Adding it means the whole story is written with very poor grammar and spelling, and the creation of words that just exude stupidity. Also, there are no quotation marks. Ever. When people talk, it looks like prose. There's no distinguishing marks telling that this statement was spoken and this one was dialogue. It all runs together. And this book won a Pulitzer Prize. 
With that out of the way, the writing style wasn't good. Writing in letters is extremely hit or miss, and this is a miss. With the way it's written, you get no sense of the emotion in the characters. Part of that is the personality of the main character, Celie, but part of it is definitely the writing. It's so blank and dull. Even big, horrific events are written in a void of personal attachment. It makes it difficult to care about the characters, or have any investment in their lives and well being, if they don't seem to care themselves. 
The storyline didn't interest me. It's not that it's boring, because lots of things happen, it just wasn't exciting either. Totally middle of the road, ho hum, blah. And that all connects back to the poor writing style. The characters too. Celie was too meek for her own good, but Shug was too bold. Mister was the typical abuser, an over controlling husband who took pleasure from power. Harpo was awful, trying to abuse his wife only because he thought it was how life was supposed to work. Nettie was almost forgettable. Dull. The only character I even remotely liked was Adam, a bit player in Nettie's story. He doesn't do a whole lot, but at least he has the emotional depth to feel conflicted over love and morality. That's fantastic compared to everyone else in the novel.
For the whole book, I just didn't care. And that made me angry the longer I read. This is supposed to be a deep novel that touches on serious subjects. And I didn't feel a thing. And that's so frustrating, when a book isn't executed well. There isn't a redeemable quality in this entire novel.

Real Teen Rating ~ F: Don't even bother.

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Facebook

Reviewed by Living Destiny

Why is Facebook still around? Does anyone still use it? I got a Facebook when it was popular, and I went on it every day, and posted some things that looking back make me cringe at how stupid I was. And then it went through the post-every-photo-you've-ever-taken phase, and that's now just a painful reminder of the awkward years of middle school. And the comments are all spelled incorrectly and everyone thinks they're cool. And then it was a gaming site, for Farmville and Cityville and all sorts of Villes that your relatives would invite you to play. And now what is it? It's clearly been overtaken by Twitter and Tumblr, but it hangs on, still trying desperately to be new and interesting.
Not worth it Mark Zuckerberg. And can we talk about the fact that Facebook is constantly creating new updates that no one wants? Half of the updates on my phone are for Facebook. Every other month they change the set up of the website, which confuses all the users who were just getting used to the latest edition. Stop.
I know that it's used to keep in touch with people you don't see much. But isn't that what phones are for? If someone is important to me, I make an effort to text them. If I meet someone but they aren't that important, I friend them on Facebook. And if you think about it, Facebook is kind of like that friend. You have it, but you only check up on it once a week, if that often, and you don't really pay much attention. And the notifications you get on Facebook are always stupid. Usually they're from one friend who posts 8000 pictures of pointless things, like jokes that aren't particularly funny. And then there's the relative thing. Everyone has those relatives that you don't see often, and feel the need to stay in your life through Facebook. So if, on rare occasion, you happen to post a status on Facebook about getting into college, or winning a big game, or being in a show, these relatives feel the need to comment on it. Which is nice, but it's really all that happens on Facebook. If Mark Zuckerberg wants to create some social media site that's only for keeping in touch with family, I'd say it's not a bad idea. But Facebook has lived a long life, and it's time for it to retire.

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Glee - Acafellas

Reviewed by The North Star

Song Time: 10 Minutes

Bust Your Windows
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Mercy - 7.5/10 - This is the second song that Vocal Adrenaline sings.  It's very similar to Rehab with the harmonies and no one ever having a solo.  I like this one less than Rehab but it's still good.  It doesn't seem to go anywhere and is one note the whole time.  Other than that it's a good rendition of the song but don't bother buying it anytime soon. 

Bust Your Windows - 9/10 - This song is awesome! In the episode Mercedes is in love with Kurt (Chris Colfer) who is very obviously gay.  She sings this song after finding out that he doesn't have feelings for her.  They're at a car wash and when she finds out she smashes his car window.  This is song is really intense though.  Mercedes really gets into the song and shows off her vocal range.  This song is really good because it was an unknown song that Glee took and made it their own and it actually fit with the plotline.  In short, buy it for the vocals but also look up the scene on YouTube because it's worth it.   

I Wanna Sex You Up - 3/10 -  The only part of this song that I like is Mr. Schuester's part.  He is the only one that doesn't sound awkward when singing the song.  In the beginning of the song they have this weird part where they're singing something really strange and I can't quite make out what they're saying but it sounds off.  It is supposed help make the song a capella but it doesn't work.  I think that they should have just picked a different song because as I said above no one sounds good except for Mr. Schuester.  No one should buy this song. Ever. 

Real Teen Rating ~ D+ : Only one song worth listening to

Real Teen Download: Bust Your Windows

Reviewed by Living Destiny

Mercy - 7/10 - This is kind of the exact same thing as Rehab. Cool harmonies, always a full choir. It's interesting, and fun to listen, but nothing that blows you out of the water. It gets kind of boring once you realize that half the time they're saying the word mercy on the same note. The voices are good, but the song isn't so much.

Bust Your Windows - 8.5/10 - I actually thought the scene for this song was stupid. It seemed pretty implausible that she couldn't tell he was gay, and that's coming from someone who has absolutely no sense of that sort of thing. The song, however, is good. I used to listen to this song a lot. It's got a jazzy sort of feel, which fits Amber Riley's voice perfectly. She has a great higher register, which she gets to flaunt in this song. It makes you want to move.

I Wanna Sex You Up - 3/10 - I literally did not remember this song at all when I read the title. And then I realized why. It's when Mr. Schuester tried to form a boy band. Whether I forgot because it's been so long since I watched the show, or because I intentionally blocked it from memory, is for you to decide. What I can say is this is one of the most awful songs I've ever encountered. Listening to it felt like physical pain. The harmonies are ok, the melody is ok. For an a capella group, it's not impressive. It's really kind of sad, because if this group of singers had picked any other song, it would have sounded good. But they picked this, and it's just bad.

Real Teen Rating ~ D: Ugh.

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Glee - Showmance

Reviewed by The North Star
Song Time: 12 Minutes

Gold Digger
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Gold Digger - 9.5/10 - This song always cracks me up because in the episode Mr. Schuester (Matthew Morrison) is trying to teach the kids how to dance and sing at the same time and by the end they all learn...except for Finn.  Anyways, I really like this song.  The song itself is talking about girls who are gold diggers but if you ignore what the lyrics are actually about this is a really great song.  I love how it starts off with Mercedes (Amber Riley) singing and the Mr. Schuester comes in and if you have ever seen him he is not who you would picture singing this song, but he pulls it off.  The whole glee club if you look at them if not who you would be picture to be singing this song but like Mr. Shoe, they pull it off.  In the end, this is definitely one to download.

Push it - 6/10 - One of the only reasons that I like this song is because me, Dream Catcher, Living Destiny and ShoreWhisperer have an inside joke about it.  The scene in which they perform this song is hilarious.  They're trying to get people to join glee club so they think by singing this song that people will join.  The song itself.....not great.  Unlike gold digger in which they rap successfully in Push It they do not.  The only reason it's getting a good grade is because of the scene in which they sing it and the inside joke, other than that I don't like the song at all.

I Say A Little Prayer - 4/10 - I can't stand this song.  I only bought it because it was on the episode and back when Glee first came out I had to buy every song.  Quinn (Dianna Agron) sings this song to get into the glee club.  This song is all about God and a couple and how every time the singer does something she says a little prayer.  No matter who sings this song I hate it, so the fact that this song is getting a 4 is a mini miracle. The reason that it isn't getting a 1 or a 2 is because of Dianna Agron.  She has a great voice and it is honestly the only thing that makes this song tolerable.  

Take a Bow - 9/10 - I always forget about this song.  I'm not crazy about the original but I think this version is a lot better than the original.  This song is in the perfect register for Lea Michele and so her voice sounds really great on it.  Even in the recording you can hear the emotion in her voice and I think that is really hard to do when you can't see the singers face.  She brings an innocence to the song that Rihanna takes away.  In the original it seems more like Rihanna could have been in the wrong but in the glee version you feel bad for Rachel/Lea which is the point.  This is definitely a version to buy.

Real Teen Rating: C- : Don't waste your time listening to the whole episode

Real Teen Download: Gold Digger

Reviewed by Living Destiny

Gold Digger - 6.5/10 - Matthew Morrison rapping is probably one of the funniest things in the world. It's especially funny because he actually isn't bad at it. Amber Riley riffing at the beginning is the best part of the song though. She has a ridiculous voice. After that, it's ok. If you know the original song, you know that they cut out the more inappropriate parts, which is fine but they try to replace them with choral harmonies, which is less ok. I really like Matthew Morrison, and that's where this grade is coming from.

Push It - 7/10 - This is also hilarious. And it's not even that it's a good song, I just love it. It's not a song you can sing along to, or one that is particularly well done, but every time I hear it, it makes me smile. Kevin McHale's little rap part is the best part of the song, and over the course of the first season, he proves himself to be the best rap singer in the show. Cory Monteith is probably the worst, and his part sounds so awkward it's entertaining. Not the best song musically, but one of the most enjoyable.

I Say A Little Prayer - 8/10 - This is so catchy! It's not that I find the song to be great, because I think it's kind of a lame song. But it's just so catchy. And this version of it is really well done. The harmonies are good, and Dianna Agron is stellar. It gets stuck in my head, and I'll end up singing it for days. While I agree with North Star that I really don't like the song itself, I love this version, and I can't agree with her grade. I think this song is awesome.

Take a Bow - 9/10 - This song is beautiful. It's soothing, sad, and it seems a lot less harsh than Rihanna's version of it. Not angry or defensive, just sort of resigned. Interestingly, this song is at least as high as Lea Michele's first solo, but she sounds much better on it. Whether her voice matured very quickly, or it's just the fact that she isn't belting, this is a nice high register song for her. The bridge is fantastic, with the long high note. Definitely my favorite from this episode.

Real Teen Rating ~ C+: You could go either way on this...

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